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What causes ADHD?

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Or a better question would be, How can a kid be diagnosed as ADHD in one environment (mom’s house) and be perfectly fine, with NO ADHD symptoms in another environment (dad’s house).

In Ben’s case, it’s real simple to understand.

Shelly (Ben’s mom) has been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and is on a lot of medications herself. In her situation, the drugs mess her up more than the so called “disorder” itself.

Below are some quotes from her personal journal. These are words that she personally wrote, describing how messed up she is and how she isn’t able to take care of Ben….

“It seems like I’m constantly getting onto Benjamin. Of course, I worry if I’m giving him enough attention. I’m so unhappy most of the time. I’m sure it rubs off on him.”

“I just get more and more pissed off. My mind races. I cant seem to make decisions. I just wander around like I’m lost, or that’s how I feel in my head. I’m “acting” all day long. What I truly feel like is coming completely out of my skin. Everything is confusing.”

“Ben takes so much, he’s so difficult right now. I know it’s because I can’t or don’t give him the attention he needs.”

“I sometimes feel like I don’t have control of my thoughts.”

“I slipped into a very dark day. Cried all day, neglected Ben.”

“Aside from my messed up mind, I’m healthy.”

“More of the same today. I had a horrible morning. I think I scared Ben.”

“I wish I could just fly away and never come back or go die somewhere. I’m never happy, this is all so hard. I think of dying every day.”

“I’m so confused, my brain seems rattled. I’m paranoid and sensitive. I’ve been crying every day. This is so hard. I really feel like the living dead.”

“I’m so uncomfortable, my mind races. It’s exhausting. Thoughts of suicide penetrate my mind. It’s scary. I cried most of the day yesterday. Ben deserves better than that.”

“I feel like bugs are crawling under my skin and that I’m hanging on by my fingernails. It’s all in my head but that’s where I need to feel better. Every day is a struggle.”

“Shit, I’m having those black days again. Yesterday and today, I’m very tired of it. I’m crying off and on all day – totally sleeping. Right now I feel – confused – tired – very sad. I keep sleeping hoping it passes. I seriously am not interested in anything. I couldn’t take care of Ben.”

Wow!

Is it possible that ANY kid would come out of that sort of home environment “normal”.

Do you think that just maybe being a kid in an environment like this might have some effects on your mental health?

The way to correct the problem isn’t to give a kid mind-numbing drugs so that he can deal with the environment.

The way to fix it is to remove the kid from the environment until his mother can get the help that she truly needs.

  1. Rebecca Cornell says:

    Where can I read your private thoughts and feelings, that were not intended for public consumption, posted on the internet?

  2. Hey Rebecca,

    I was nice and held off on posting the “bad” stuff.

  3. i am saying powerful prayers for you and Ben and Ben’s mom. but what seems like such a tragedy to me is that ben has had to endure his mom’s mental illness and leaving him with her when she is unstable is abuse. even if it is not intentional on Ben’s mothers side. however if the state forces him to remain with her and forces drugs on him that is abuse and i hope you take it all the way to the supreme court. so many children are mislabeled and misdiagnosed and pumped full of toxic chemicals!Children are naturally figety and many processed foods themselves are found to be toxic to young developing systems and if children are taken off all the toxic sugar and dead processed foods filled with fake ingredients and are given real living food not processed with chemicals they are restored. Like wise Ben’s mom if she was given living raw foods and detoxed by a natural physician who specialized in this possibly she could restore her health mental and physical. has she been tested for toxic heavy metals? has she had poisonous vaccinations? has ben had toxic vaccinations? I do hope he gets to live with you if that is his heart and i do hope the state drops their mandated forced drug efforts. have you had Ben tested by naturopaths? by other doctors? One Doctor does not a valid diagnosis make. have you researched and studied do you have a lawyer? more importantly does Ben have his own lawyer? He needs a lawyer. That one step will change the tide . as soon as you get Ben a lawyer to look out for his best interest and not a state appointed lawyer either!. Gerry Spence he is one of the best and he might take the case on contigency we could raise funds for Ben’s lawyer.

  4. how is it that the stae could deem his mother fit and sound of judgement after reading what she has written in her diary? How could they even consider leaving him alone to deal with her illness by himself? That does not mean that she does not love Ben. That means that she could possibly harm him in that state and that is very alarming, even though i’m quite sure I dont know all the facts. My heart goes out to all of you.

  5. Interested says:

    What kind of a family court judge would give full custody to a mother who is so unstable. Aren’t they supposed to consider all aspects of a child’s life before making such an important decision? This judge certainly didn’t care about the best interest of the child. I hope another judge can see this situation for what it is really is and see through the mother’s “acting” (her words). Keep up the good fight to have your son returned to you for his safe keeping plus everything else you have in common.

  6. Rebecca Cornell says:

    I’ve already commented on this, but can’t get it out of my mind. I do not know the whole story from each the mother’s, father’s and the child’s perspectives. I realize that it must be very complicated.

    But a personal journal does not seem like fair evidence. A journal is written because it is completely confidential and feelings can be expressed as if no one will ever read it. Journaling is supposed to be a safe place to feel the feelings that are set aside while putting your best face forward throughout the day. Writing freely and being true to yourself when journaling aids in the healing process and aids in the sense of relief.

    Jim I think that it speaks poorly of your character to have this up on the internet. You seem like a man of great conviction that is willing to anything to help your son. Please consider re-writing this post. I understand the point you are trying to make but it is simply unethical to broadcast someone else’s personal journal in the internet and it is reflecting poorly upon you.

    • Thanks Rebecca, I appreciate your opinion.

      I really didn’t want to have to post this, and if Ben’s mom and her lawyer would have done things differently here, I wouldn’t have.

      They went into court making me out to be the bad guy and claiming that she was doing just fine and had no issues. This was at the same time that she was writing about daily suicidal thoughts, the fact that she couldn’t take care of Ben, and admitting that Ben deserves better than what she is able to give him (and a lot more that I didn’t post).

      I’m facing felony charges right now for protecting my son. People deserve to know what I was protecting him from.

  7. The Nutcracker says:

    As someone already said, I pray for Ben, Ben’s mother, and for you, and I am very sincere about that. This website is a great start and I’m proud of what you’ve done so far to put together information and visuals. It’s looking great, Jim, and it’s time we seriously put our heads together to figure out our best strategy. You’re not going to like what I’m about to say, but hear me out Kaiser Sozay…….now that you know who this is.

    Sorry, but I think posting the journal entries isn’t playing fair either, no matter what yours or her lawyers say. Ya gotta fight clean, buddy, even when they are not. Even when they are not. I have no idea what it’s like to be in your shoes right now, but I DO know what it’s like to be in Ben’s. I also have a pretty good idea how I got this way, but I stopped playing the blame game long ago and it has done wonders for my recovery, my quality of life, and my hopes for winning this battle for myself. Consider how Ben would feel reading that…he may see only the guilt his mother feels and blame himself. I saw her guilt bigtime, and it looks as if she’s already beating herself up enough for all of you put together. Ben might be even more confused and guilty watching the two of you duke it out over him. You and your ex may/will/probably should/it wouldn’t kill you to/have to make peace with each other before either of you can help him, so, I’m just asking you to think about what the point of this exercise is again…just askin!

    You’re not alone and you know it. You’ve already got the support of the friends you’ve made online and we’re here for you right now. We’re here for Ben, too. When I was a kid the drug of choice was the strap, the yardstick, public humiliation, or detentions. The drugs they’re doling out like Flintstones vitamins now can be lethal. The term ADD and ADHD is stigmatizing, which just makes the battle ten times more difficult. Coincidentally, kids don’t seem to need these drugs until they reach school age…can you say 2 plus 2? (this may be a good topic for debate later)

    If we’re going to win this one I think we have to stay away from generalizations AND sarcasm as much as possible. And you know how tough that is for me! It’s an extreme, knee-jerk way of expressing ourselves, and that’s when people stop listening. We want them to listen, right? I’m just sayin’, we gotta fight this one with a lot of sugar and be ready to eat a lot of shit. I’m with you all the way and have been for a long time, but not in manner…not yet. I’m still working on the way to get the words right myself, so feel free to call me on whatever you want. You know I’ll be honest.

    So, I suggest posting a collection of personal testimonies from people diagnosed with this, being drugged as adults or going through experimental treatments for their kids past and present. I would be quite willing to tell my truth, since it’s the only one I really know, but, there are others suffering more than I am at the moment, Ben being just one of the kids on these drugs. It IS criminal. This IS important. If they are too young to go to court to speak for themselves, somebody has to defend them.

    I’ll mention my friend’s experience here for starters. She took her 14 yr old back and forth to Children’s Hospital in Vancouver four times over the past year and a half, an eight hour round trip by car, and they tried several different drugs on him because he couldn’t sit still at school and he wasn’t big on studying.

    The first drug caused him to black out. He’d be sitting at his desk and he’d fall out of it….he’d come to in a few seconds and then be okay…sorta. His mother was not happy.
    Back to Vancouver. A new specialist. A new drug. This one gave him seizures. Epileptic type SEIZURES. He was now blacking out, and having muscle spasms at the same time. They cut his school day in half.
    Back to Vancouver for a couple of new drugs….these gave him one of two reactions. He was either sleeping 12-14 hours at a stretch, or he was wide awake, wild, running around on his bike non-stop, chopping wood, teasing the death out of his two little sisters….he couldn’t get enough activity. Unfortunately his family moved away and I have lost touch so I don’t know what is happening with him now. The last I heard was that he was aching all over, stiff and sore like an old man. Miserable, and in physical pain. All I can tell you is that his mother made sure he was taken off any further medication of any kind and he was still going through withdrawal symptoms two months after she had eliminated them. She had had enough. His father died when he was quite young so her situation was different than yours in that way, but it has been very hard for her.

    Now I want to tell you about this boy, because he is one of the most remarkable kids I’ve ever met. He is thoughtful, sensitive, wise beyond his years, eager to help and eager to please. He’s eager about everything. He just enjoys living. He’s happy most of the time. He likes to try new things. He loves riding his bike, chopping wood, running, swimming, doing anything physical. He is mechanically inclined; loves to pull things apart and put them back together again. He constantly challenges himself. He loves to fix things that are broken. He is extremely perceptive, aware of everything going on around him…eyes like a hawk. He is quick to react in an emergency and seems to know instinctively the right thing to do. He is curious, courageous, and a natural leader. He can be influential, charismatic, and he makes people laugh all the time. He is a delight to be around. He is honest and forthright and moral. He is also very intelligent and a good judge of character. He has insight into the world around him. He doesn’t just veg out in front of the TV and play video games all day. He likes doing things that are productive and interesting. He likes to find better ways of doing things.

    I can’t help but be sarcastic, but gee, isn’t there some drug we can put him on that will turn him into a NORMAL kid?

    I hope you like some of my ideas. I’ll look forward to hearing back from you. Take care Kaiser.

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