My Name Is Ben
My name is Ben and my dad is my hero.
When my teacher told my parents that I had a hard time sitting still and paying attention in class, I tried to tell them that I was just BORED. School wasn’t challenging enough for me. My mom took me to a doctor and he told her that I had ADHD and that I had to take medicine for it.
My dad didn’t like the idea of giving me medicine so he took me out of that school and decided to homeschool me. I LOVED IT! I didn’t have ANY problems with paying attention because he knows how to make learning fun for me.
But my mom didn’t like that idea so she kept giving me the drugs. The drugs made me sit still in school but they also did a lot of bad things. I was sick a lot. The drugs made me dizzy and gave me headaches and stomachaches. They also made it so I couldn’t sleep so my mom and the doctor decided to give me sleeping pills every night. I didn’t like the way I felt on the drugs and my dad didn’t like it either.
When the judge told my dad that he had to give me all these drugs, my dad said NO! The judge kept telling him that if he didn’t drug me, he would lose custody of me. After two years of my dad refusing to drug me, the judge said that I couldn’t see him anymore.
After that, my dad did the only thing that he could do to protect me from these drugs. He quit his job and sold everything that he owned and took me across the country to keep me safe. In the 3 ½ months that we were gone I did SO good! I was homeschooled again and had a lot of fun learning. I felt great being off the drugs and I gained A LOT of height and weight. The drugs kept me from growing for 2 years.
But then we got caught. They took my dad to jail and I had to go back to the same school that I hated, and now I’m on the drugs again. These drugs are killing me and it’s sad that my mom and the school and the judge can’t see it.
My dad is doing everything he can to get me back and to get me off of the drugs. He’s hired an attorney and he’s not going to stop fighting this until I am off the drugs and back with him.
Ben
Hi Ben & Jim–
Your story tears at my heart because I had a similar experience 40 years ago when I was a 6-year-old boy in grade school in the late 1960s. Ritalin was fairly new on the market, and schools and shrinks were just getting into the act of drugging kids who were bored with the “education” they were receiving in government indoctrination camps (aka “schools”). Like you and most boys with above average intelligence, I found school to be incredibly boring and felt the need to talk out of turn, doodle on my workbook, etc. The teacher sent me down to the school psychologist (a fairly new job title back in 1968) to find out what was “wrong” with me. The psychologist and the teacher had a counseling session with my mother and I, and he determined that I was “hyperactive” (they didn’t call it ADHD back then) and some Ritalin was just what the doctor needed to order. My Mom took me to the pediatrician to get the official prescription for psychoactive drugs, and VOILA!–I became a walking Zombie overnight! I’m sure my teacher was very happy during the few days I was doped up in her classroom, but when my father came home from an out-of-town business trip, he was anything but pleased.
(Full disclosure about my Mom: She loves me very much and wasn’t trying to harm me. She thought she was helping me. Unfortunately, my Mom has a blind spot when it comes to trusting authority. If a guy with a lab coat, an advanced degree, or a shiny badge tells her to do something, she will do it. I’ve been working on her about this my entire life to no avail.)
My father came home from working out of town to find his normally energetic, extremely talkative six-year-old son moping at the kitchen table with a glazed look in his eyes. He immediately knew something was wrong but not knowing the cause, he asked my Mom what was going on. Had I had a bad day in school? Was I being punished for something? When my Mom told him what had gone on that week at school while he was away, my father HIT THE FREAKING ROOF!!! He first gave my Mom an earful about it, and knowing my father I’m sure voices were raised (mostly his) and fists were pounded on tables. The Ritalin went into the trash immediately. Our pediatrician who prescribed the drugs at the shrink’s insistence was (unfortunately for him) our next door neighbor. He suffered my father’s wrath next.
(Full disclosure about our pediatrician. He was and is a nice man, a good doctor, and he even made house calls back then. My parents are still friends with him today. But back in the 1960s, “better living through chemistry” was the motto of both the medical establishment and the counterculture. Of course, Big Pharma was trying to gain a larger clientele by hook or by crook. Some things never change. Thankfully, my father trusted his own wisdom over that of the “doctor.”)
The next morning, my father called the principal of the school and reamed her a new one. He was rightfully appalled that the schools would recommend drugging children as a first option rather than using the children’s feedback of boredom to improve the “educational” system (which can’t be improved by the way–The school system is rotten to the core. Your father did the best possible thing by homeschooling you as much as he could. I am so sorry that he is prevented from continuing to do this. Personal teaching and learning is by far the best way to educate.)
However, my father did insist that if the regular class work could not keep my mind engaged, the school had better assign me some additional, more challenging assignments. The principal babbled some lame apology to my father and within a week, I and another above average kid (ironically–the pediatrician’s son) were placed at a table in the rear of the classroom with advanced work–simply textbooks and workbooks from the third grade (we were in first grade at the time). When we finished with the third grade material (in several months), we moved on to the fourth grade math & reading books. By the time I was actually in the fourth grade, I was reading at the eighth grade level and my boredom problem was solved by me sneak reading books of my choice in class while the teacher droned on about stuff I already knew. Of course, I was occasionally punished for this, but it sure beat the heck out of taking the Zombie pills.
The sad thing about our country is that things have gone so far downhill in the past 40 years. My father was able to rectify the attempted dumbing down of his son simply by pounding his fist on the table, reaming several ignorant people, and asserting his parental rights. Everyone backed down, no judges forced drugs on me, and I went on to become a highly functional and successful (though very disgruntled) individual. Obviously, things have changed for the worst when a father cannot insist on the right to educate his own son in his own way without the state insisting on drugging his child and forcing him into the government indoctrination camp.
Ben–My best advice to you is to keep your own mind as active and free as possible under the circumstances. Most of your “education” will not occur in school; it will occur by your own choices of topics and ideas you research in the library and on the internet. I graduated from ASU with honors in 1987 and I freely admit that most of what I was taught was absolute nonsense. I knew college was crap at the time, and I have spent the past 22 years unlearning what little garbage “knowledge” took hold in my subconscious. I continuously read books of my choice when my reading skills reached the eighth-grade level (in the fourth grade) and have been educating myself since I was in the fourth grade. From what your Dad says about you, I’m sure you are already at or beyond the level I was at you your age. The good news is that nobody can really control your mind–Keep educating yourself and you will be OK in the end. You will be 18 before you know it, and you will be 47 eventually (like me!) sooner than you think after that. Life is very short, but make the most of it,,,It is a cool experience if you can just get through the childhood part of it. There are some wonderful adult experiences awaiting you as well…
Kind Regards,
Eric Cartridge
Sounds to me like you were eval’ed wrong and that is the problem sometimes, sometimes you get a dumb doctor that is not specialized in this field. Pediaticians are not a good person to evaluate this disability. i do believe it does exist, but i dont believe always that med is needed. some childs with adhd i have heard do fine with out the meds. In my childs case I truely do believe he does need it because he has the combined form and it is sevre and i have seen great improvement in him and he has not had problems with weight loss or sleeplessness,etc. he is on Foclian xr, but it sounds like if you dont want it and can function fine with out it then dont do it. i have not seen zombieness in my child at all and he acts normal and has not complained of anything at all. you should have the choice if you are old enough to make that decsion. if not your parents should both be in agreement. I can see where the judge is concerned he believes you have it and is trying to look out for your safty, and so is your mom. I know with my child if he was not on his meds he would run in front of a car NO Joke! even if i was holding his hand. i hope you win your battle. if you are still fighting it. good luck to you. i wish you the best. and i’m proud that your dad is trying to stand up for your wishes and wants that is a good father you have there.
so sad
I AM SORRY IF BEN SEES MY IN-APPROIATE LANGUAGE AS MY FRUSTRATION ON THIS SITUATION IN GENERAL HAS TAKEN ME TO A LOW POINT WHERE I CANT CONTROL MY EMOTIONS AND THAT IS NOT RIGHT OF ME..I JUST GET SO PISSED OFF AT THE ACTUAL MORONS WHO CLASSIFY KIDS AND WANT TO MEDICATE THEM FOR NO REASON ……….DAN
Tell the opposition to PROVE your child has ADHD, and when they cite the test used look below as you will find NO TEST HAS EVER BEEN VALIDATED AS VERIFYING THE PRESENCE OR ABSENCE OF ADHD, in LIFE or at AUTOPSY.
So if no test is valid, what do they have that PROVES your child has ADHD?
And barring no legitimate test proving the PRESENCE OF ADHD, drugging your child for no proveable disease is tantamount to CHILD ENDANGERMENT, and CHILD ABUSE with chemical restraints. Those are criminal offenses. And the court/state forcing you to drug should be LIABLE for criminal child abuse. Take a look here…
http://www.adhdtesting.org/compendiumpage.htm and here
http://www.adhdtesting.org/testing.htm
Been right where you are with a daughter. G Bell