It’s not easy being me right now, (haven’t been able to see my son in 5 months) and your encouraging comments help me get through the day, knowing that I’m doing the right thing.

BTW – My mom tells me that I should take you up on the marriage offer.

Jim

As I said in another post, however, playing the blame game isn’t enough when it comes to the cause and/or treatment of behavioral conditions. It isn’t just the system, or just the school, or just faulty parenting, or just a head injury or just fetal alcohol syndrome or just an inherited trait or just any one thing that is screwing up our kids. Every case is as different as every child. There are just too many variables to say that there is any one cure, therefore, drugs can in no way be the ONLY answer. Drugs are, however, a quick fix, an instant cure, the easiest method of dealing with something nobody knows much about…yet. It’s all just theory and experimentation at this point, and there are still a lot of people who don’t even think of it as a ‘legitimate’ condition. If you don’t know the cause, how can it be real? For some, they think they know the cause and the cure is pretty simple; more discipline!

It seems as if the control has been given over to tired, overwrought, overworked, and underpaid caregivers, be it parents, teachers or doctors. Doctors don’t know the cause and they’ll be the first to tell you. They are prescribing dangerous doses of mood altering drugs to see which one works. The kid has a bad reaction? Ok, we’ll try this one and see what happens. See me in six weeks. Ah yes, that’s a common side effect with some kids. Well, there’s this new one out right now that we’re getting very good reports about. The success rate is very high and the side effects are minimal. Let me know how it goes and if there are any problems give us a call. Oh, so Tommy is finally doing better at school? He’s not getting into as much trouble after school? He’s easier to handle? He’s better? Please doc, define “better”. Better for who? Tommy or everybody around him? Ben is shown here as our little Tommy, which is probably one of the few testimonials we will ever get to see from a child speaking honestly about his own condition. It speaks volumes. If he has one parent who can home school him and see him through the educational system, hooray for that parent. If he has one teacher who has enough patience to guide him in the right direction and stimulate his natural curiosity and above average intelligence, kudos to that teacher. If there is one doctor out there who can suggest a change of diet or atmosphere at home instead of doling out drugs like Flintstones vitamins, then there is hope. Please people, let’s just slow things down a bit and look at this for what it really is….

Sorry, but I think posting the journal entries isn’t playing fair either, no matter what yours or her lawyers say. Ya gotta fight clean, buddy, even when they are not. Even when they are not. I have no idea what it’s like to be in your shoes right now, but I DO know what it’s like to be in Ben’s. I also have a pretty good idea how I got this way, but I stopped playing the blame game long ago and it has done wonders for my recovery, my quality of life, and my hopes for winning this battle for myself. Consider how Ben would feel reading that…he may see only the guilt his mother feels and blame himself. I saw her guilt bigtime, and it looks as if she’s already beating herself up enough for all of you put together. Ben might be even more confused and guilty watching the two of you duke it out over him. You and your ex may/will/probably should/it wouldn’t kill you to/have to make peace with each other before either of you can help him, so, I’m just asking you to think about what the point of this exercise is again…just askin!

You’re not alone and you know it. You’ve already got the support of the friends you’ve made online and we’re here for you right now. We’re here for Ben, too. When I was a kid the drug of choice was the strap, the yardstick, public humiliation, or detentions. The drugs they’re doling out like Flintstones vitamins now can be lethal. The term ADD and ADHD is stigmatizing, which just makes the battle ten times more difficult. Coincidentally, kids don’t seem to need these drugs until they reach school age…can you say 2 plus 2? (this may be a good topic for debate later)

If we’re going to win this one I think we have to stay away from generalizations AND sarcasm as much as possible. And you know how tough that is for me! It’s an extreme, knee-jerk way of expressing ourselves, and that’s when people stop listening. We want them to listen, right? I’m just sayin’, we gotta fight this one with a lot of sugar and be ready to eat a lot of shit. I’m with you all the way and have been for a long time, but not in manner…not yet. I’m still working on the way to get the words right myself, so feel free to call me on whatever you want. You know I’ll be honest.

So, I suggest posting a collection of personal testimonies from people diagnosed with this, being drugged as adults or going through experimental treatments for their kids past and present. I would be quite willing to tell my truth, since it’s the only one I really know, but, there are others suffering more than I am at the moment, Ben being just one of the kids on these drugs. It IS criminal. This IS important. If they are too young to go to court to speak for themselves, somebody has to defend them.

I’ll mention my friend’s experience here for starters. She took her 14 yr old back and forth to Children’s Hospital in Vancouver four times over the past year and a half, an eight hour round trip by car, and they tried several different drugs on him because he couldn’t sit still at school and he wasn’t big on studying.

The first drug caused him to black out. He’d be sitting at his desk and he’d fall out of it….he’d come to in a few seconds and then be okay…sorta. His mother was not happy.
Back to Vancouver. A new specialist. A new drug. This one gave him seizures. Epileptic type SEIZURES. He was now blacking out, and having muscle spasms at the same time. They cut his school day in half.
Back to Vancouver for a couple of new drugs….these gave him one of two reactions. He was either sleeping 12-14 hours at a stretch, or he was wide awake, wild, running around on his bike non-stop, chopping wood, teasing the death out of his two little sisters….he couldn’t get enough activity. Unfortunately his family moved away and I have lost touch so I don’t know what is happening with him now. The last I heard was that he was aching all over, stiff and sore like an old man. Miserable, and in physical pain. All I can tell you is that his mother made sure he was taken off any further medication of any kind and he was still going through withdrawal symptoms two months after she had eliminated them. She had had enough. His father died when he was quite young so her situation was different than yours in that way, but it has been very hard for her.

Now I want to tell you about this boy, because he is one of the most remarkable kids I’ve ever met. He is thoughtful, sensitive, wise beyond his years, eager to help and eager to please. He’s eager about everything. He just enjoys living. He’s happy most of the time. He likes to try new things. He loves riding his bike, chopping wood, running, swimming, doing anything physical. He is mechanically inclined; loves to pull things apart and put them back together again. He constantly challenges himself. He loves to fix things that are broken. He is extremely perceptive, aware of everything going on around him…eyes like a hawk. He is quick to react in an emergency and seems to know instinctively the right thing to do. He is curious, courageous, and a natural leader. He can be influential, charismatic, and he makes people laugh all the time. He is a delight to be around. He is honest and forthright and moral. He is also very intelligent and a good judge of character. He has insight into the world around him. He doesn’t just veg out in front of the TV and play video games all day. He likes doing things that are productive and interesting. He likes to find better ways of doing things.

I can’t help but be sarcastic, but gee, isn’t there some drug we can put him on that will turn him into a NORMAL kid?

I hope you like some of my ideas. I’ll look forward to hearing back from you. Take care Kaiser.

I found and read the RitalinDeath website and I have made up my mind about any further decisions and since my daughter is learning they cannot push us to get her evaluated (this I have been told by our pediatrician).

She is a lovely lady and doesn’t think there is anything wrong with our child and she also suggests that we need to give time to our daughter. It is a shame that in these times we still have to deal with all this nonsense,

I am aware that some children really need those meds but not a the rate we are seeing, this is a generation X, thanks for sharing this video!!!